One of the biggest lessons I have ever learned, a private life is a happy life! You see I’m an over sharer, I always have been, it’s just part of my nature. So when I experience something, I like to share and have everyone experience my happiness with me. I used to share my sadness a lot too but then I realized sharing sadness wasn’t benefiting anyone, least of all me so I really try very hard now not to share anything sad.
One of the biggest arguments I have with myself is “Raina why did you say that?” or “Raina, why did you post that on Facebook??” usually after it comes back to bite me in the booty! It’s like I can’t help myself, I just want everyone to see that happiness is out there. However now days you can switch your audience on Facebook so that helps too … unless you totally forget! Oops!
But what happens when things that were adding to your happiness, fall apart and you’ve been gushing on social media for weeks about how happy you are and isn’t life great? I found myself in this position recently (could be a while back) and it was a bit of turning point for me because it was then I realized that the majority of people I was sharing my life with via social media had no care for me, they just wanted to be nosey. Which is fine but by me posting everything and anything, I was enabling their nosiness. I was the cause, the problem, not them.
I had hours of frustration a couple of weeks back when instead of people asking me was I ok? They were asking what happened? I slammed the phone down, “how dare she, nosey cow” I screamed. When people expressed sympathy, I was enraged…”What do I need sympathy for, I’m strong and independent!” . A couple of cups of tea and some tears of humiliation later I realized, I put this out there for this to happen!
People are naturally curious, don’t lie, you are too! We have all seen something online and went “ooh I wonder what’s happened there??” Maybe were not all brazen about it and go commenting under things but we do ponder it! Heck even some of us turn on the notifications so they can’t see we are wanting to know facts….And if your like me and your a sharer well then you have to learn to accept this is going to happen to you too.
So here’s some things I’ve learnt (and from one over-sharer to another I hope they help you too)
* Not everyone is interested in your happiness, there are people waiting to see you fail and tell you they told you so.
* Not everything is suitable for social media – some examples are your family life, your relationships, what you think of your workplace, every ache and pain you have, the argument your having with whoever.
* You can share things with certain people and not the world, Facebook has options for who can see what you post. Really invaluable tool if you have to share something but don’t want everyone to see!
* Remove people from your social media feeds who are just waiting for gossip, no one needs that!
* Fill your heart, your head, your home with memories not your fave social media platform.
* When you share something, you are allowing others to formulate an opinion, it may not always be what you want to hear but by sharing something you’ve given them the freedom to do so!
* It’s perfectly OK to keep some things private, the world will not collapse because you haven’t posted about it!
* Your business life and your personal life are two totally separate things, keep them that way!
I hate to say this but not everyone has your best interests at heart, not everyone feels the way you, reacts the way you or even thinks like you. While it’s wonderful to have the heart on your sleeve approach to life, it will often backfire on you and that my friends is par of the course.
Don’t get upset when you ask about my private life and I tell you “it’s private and how I stay happy.” Don’t pick at me about it because my choice is mine. I’m much happier with less being on the media pages about my personal / private life. I will still post concerts and things like that 🙂
I just wish I would have learned years ago to keep my private life to myself. I guess we live and we learn.
It’s a lesson to be learned, even if that lesson is terribly hard! So there you have it a Private Life is a Happy Life and take it from me, while I still struggle with what to share I am grasping the concept! Why not evaluate what you are sharing? How much of yourself are you giving away? Are you allowing others to formulate opinions on your life when they really shouldn’t know much about it all?
Lots of love,